How to Roll With a Woman in BJJ
Hello boys. I'm a lady grappler, here to give you the inside scoop on how to properly roll with women in BJJ. Have you ever wondered, "What is the secret of successfully rolling with women?" or,…
Words by Julia Johansen
Hello boys. I'm a lady grappler, here to give you the inside scoop on how to properly roll with women in BJJ. Have you ever wondered, "What is the secret of successfully rolling with women?" or, "Am I supposed to roll with these graceful creatures differently?" or even, "Should I have to impress her?" If so, then this is the article for you. I'm a woman, so I know what I'm talking about.
The physical
- Use all your strength — women appreciate a feat of strength.
- Women need to practise real-life defences, so make sure to imitate real-life attacks and be as intimidating as possible. They'll thank you for it.
- Never give up, never surrender. If she's set up that armbar, do whatever is possible to not tap — hulk out, muscle out, anything — women do not respect a man they can beat.
- If the woman DOES complain about strength, be their grappling dummy. Go limp and completely disengage. She'll be grateful for the incredible opportunity to practise attacks.
- Remember that you are not there to impress her, so make sure not to shave or shower before class — this is not dating. It's totally okay to smell like a man the way God intended!
The verbal
- Telling off-colour jokes or referencing women's bodies will help her feel at ease and let her know you think of her as one of the guys. This works especially well when sparring.
- Some women worry about being too manly or aggressive, so be sure to tell her how nice she smells, or how soft her skin is. It is more effective if done quietly by whispering it in her ear.
- Be sensitive. Women cry a lot, so ask her several times while rolling if she's going to cry.
- Apologise as much as possible. Seriously. Women are physically more sensitive and should know how bad you feel for putting too much pressure on them.
- Be sure to remind her that she's good… for a girl. She should be constantly reminded how special and lucky she is that she's doing a man's sport.
Disclaimer: Following these rules may be hazardous to your health and lead to a loss of women at your gym. Jiu Jiu cannot be held responsible for what happens if you are dumb enough to actually do these things.
And in case the satire didn't land: it's 2026. Women are headlining the biggest cards in Jiu Jitsu, and the matches Ffion Davies, Beatriz Mesquita and Mayssa Bastos are putting on are some of the best grappling anyone is watching — full stop, no asterisk, no "for a girl." If you want to know how to roll with a woman in BJJ, here's the whole secret: roll with her the way you'd roll with anyone you respect. Match her energy, give her honest resistance, shake her hand, and go again. That's it.
About the author: Julia Johansen, aka Jiu Jiu, is a Jiu Jitsu practitioner whose co-dependent relationship with the gentle art began in 2010. You can find more of her BJJ writing at jiujiubjj.com.
See you on the mats.