BJJ Girl Problems
1. People saying "Oh, I'd better not mess with you then" the second they hear you train BJJ. So if I were just a normal girl, you'd be punching me right now? Cool, cool.
With Emilia Tuukkanen
1. People saying "Oh, I'd better not mess with you then" the second they hear you train BJJ. So if I were just a normal girl, you'd be punching me right now? Cool, cool.
2. Hair. Everywhere. No matter how tight your braid is before you step on the mat, it's going to come loose, and then there's hair in your sparring partner's mouth, nose, eyes… basically everywhere. And sometimes you get stuck in a terrible position purely because your own hair is pinned under your back or shoulder and you literally cannot move. At all.
3. Never being able to have nice nails. You scroll through one of those gorgeous nail-art accounts on TikTok, make the fatal mistake of getting yours done perfectly, then go train and watch all of it get destroyed in a single round. You could cry. Spider guard should honestly be renamed "nail-killer" guard.
4. Guys sparring with you like you're made of glass.
5. Guys sparring with you with the full "can't lose to a girl!" attitude, crushing you with every ounce of power they own. These are almost always the big white belts who've trained Jiu Jitsu for under six months and have a background in some other martial art or in bodybuilding. Congratulations on the smash, champ.
6. Always having to explain the bruises all over your body. Extra fun when they're on your neck and face. You don't even look forward to summer anymore, because you know you'll look like a dalmatian in your shorts and a cute top.
7. The soul-crushing pain of putting makeup on after sparring, when the mat has exfoliated your face for you. And by exfoliated I mean the top two layers of skin are simply gone, like you lost a fight with a cheese grater — so you really do have to cake the makeup on. Either that or commit to the giant funeral hat.
8. Never having enough time between rounds to properly fix your hair, so you end up apologising to your next opponent for stealing the first 30 seconds of the round to sort out the disaster on your head.
9. Not being taken as seriously by sponsors — or honestly by anyone other than your fellow practitioners — even after you've accomplished plenty. Okay, this one goes for almost every sport. But it stings a little extra when the women at the top of Jiu Jitsu right now, your Ffion Davieses and Beatriz Mesquitas, are putting on some of the best matches in the entire sport and still fighting for the same shine.
10. The endless struggle of keeping your legs shaved all year round.
11. Going through ten bottles of body lotion a month because you have to moisturise after every single class, otherwise your skin feels like it's about to peel off your bones.
12. Having your period while cutting weight. There are two reasons this is pure torture: 1. You gain weight from water. 2. You can't eat chocolate! You just have to suffer, gnawing on a sad little carrot and pretending you're thrilled about it. Honestly, denying a woman chocolate on her period is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
13. Having your period at all, really, and trying to train like a normal human. You get so emotional that you want to burst into tears when some menace passes your guard — and heaven help the person who catches you with an accidental elbow or knee. That right there is grounds for murder. Also, it's just sooo uncomfortable.
14. Some immature creep — who has, of course, never trained a day in his life — asking if you do "BJ." Thanks, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Idiot.
15. The gi making you look unbelievably wide. How do the women you see winning Worlds every year look so unfairly good in theirs?
See you on the mats — bruises, lost nails, mystery hair and all.
Originally published in Jiu Jitsu Style with Emilia Tuukkanen. Refreshed for the 2026 generation of BJJ women.