Emilia Tuukkanen’s comical look at the different types of people who train BJJ – you’ll all recognise them!
1. “The Meathead”
-Always sparring with 100% force
-Uses even more force if someone is kicking his/her butt with technique
-Uses even more force if that someone is either smaller than him or a girl
-Actively seeks sparring partners who are smaller and/or weaker than him
2. “The teacher”
-Not the actual master/professor/coach
-Spars with you with a lot of force, then when they are clearly losing/almost caught up in a submission, stops rolling and starts to teach you, telling what you could have done differently etc.
-Loves it when there is some new white belt at the gym that they can teach so he doesn’t have to roll with the experienced guys
3. “The JIUJITSU4LIFE Guy”
-Has trained less than 2 years
-Often a white belt, sometimes bluebelt. Almost never a higher belt.
-Has every gi there is to get and all of them are full of every patch you could ever imagine
-Everything on his/her Instagram, Facebook, Twitter etc is about jiu jitsu
-You have never seen him/her not wearing something jiujitsu related. Usually an old t-shirt from some IBJJF competition, where they didn’t actually compete.
4. “The Gross Guy”
-Has clearly lost his/her ability to smell
-Gi stinks like week-old garbage, breath is like rotting meat and toe nails are both dirty and long
5. “The Just For Show Guy”
-Shows up at the gym few times a year, still wants to be very involved with all the matters of the gym
-Avoids sparring at all cost, now that you think of it you might never have seen him/her even break a sweat
-Is 100% there if it’s a graduation day
-If they somehow find themselves sparring, they use a lot of time fixing their belt and gi, might even fake injuries just to avoid rolling hard
6. “The Flirty-Flirt”
-Almost always a girl
-Trains just for the guys attention, no goals in actual jiu jitsu
-Has their makeup and nails always done and takes a lot of pictures with their gi but never sweaty
-A lot of status updates etc about bjj with a hint of flirting
Issue 23, with cover star Rickson Gracie, is AVAILABLE NOW! See what’s inside HERE.